Puppies are widely misrepresented in the general media. Various humorous pictures of puppies on the interwebs would have you believe that puppies are basically adorable and kind of dumb (while this is true, it is not applicable to the entirety of the puppy experience). Movies suggest that puppy training is both a simple montage of various slightly irritating but generally good-natured funny growing-pains experiences that are both a little gross, and comic gold. Take Beethoven for example- the movie, not the composer, I assume the composer was house trained- in the movie, there is a fun montage of the father being the butt end of peeing in shoes jokes, dog slobber in the briefcase, dog hair on the clean and newly pressed suit, and the classic stepping-in-fresh-doggy-poo-in-bare-feet moment. This is also not representative of the puppy experience. It is also not even remotely a preparatory learning tool for those about to have a puppy. I feel very strongly that Balto, Beethoven, All Dogs Go To Heaven, Lassie, Old Yeller, Marley and Me, 101 Dalmatians, The Fox and the Hound, Rin Tin Tin, Benji, Turner and Hooch, Homeward Bound, Milo and Otis, Where the Red Fern Grows, Lady and the Tramp, and MOST ESPECIALLY Wishbone, did nothing to prepare me or give me reasonable expectations of what having a puppy would be like. This is gross negligence on their part, and I wish to sue. Mostly so that I can hire a housekeeper with the money I would win who will mop up after Loki. Nothing I saw in any of these movies, particularly in the extremely misleading montage sequences, helped me get ready for the reality of puppy-hood.
So what is it really like? It is simultaneously better and worse. So, for the sake of posterity, here is what puppy training a strong willed, slightly dumb and sharp-toothed husky is like.
Well, its not a montage. And she doesn't quote Shakespeare.
Typical day with Loki.
11:00 PM- everyone goes to bed.
Sometime In The Hours Of The Night That Belong To Vampires And Not To Man- Loki needs to be let out.
Sometime In The Hours Of The Morning That Only Exist On Clocks And Should Not Be Seen By Man- Loki needs to be let out again.
In Between Those Two Times- She has either had several 'accidents' (which I refer to in my head as 'Willful expulsion of the bowl and bladder') Or she has managed to hold it all night. So it's kinda like gambling, which I occasionally enjoy.
Randomly Interspersed Throughout The Night- She chases the cats, who oblige her by running.
6:30 AM- Loki will not go back to sleep. Instead she will howl outside of the door until someone comes and feeds her breakfast, takes her for an hour long walk, plays with her for another half hour, and manages to wear her out enough that she will sleep.
8:00 (ish) Loki is back to sleep, but whoever woke up with her is in an extremely bad mood and depending on work schedules may or may not get to go back to sleep.
11:00 Loki is awake again and chewing on EVERYTHING, EXCEPT the bazillion toys she has expressly for the purpose of making sure she doesn't chew on EVERYTHING. Which last night included my wedding bouquet. It's fine, no harm done, but I just about had a heart attack.
The Rest of the Day- She runs around being alternately adorable and exasperating.
The good stuff-
She's wonderful with people. She's entirely affectionate. She loves walking, going new places, and she's SMART. She learned sit, lie down, and come in the first week that we had her, which is apparently unheard of for a puppy her age. We're currently working on stay, drop, and "damnit Loki don't chew on that, chew on your toy!" She likes carrots, she makes a lot less mess than I thought she would, and she loves us.
The rough stuff-
Dogs talk with their mouths and ears. Thats just how it works in doggy communication land. Unfortunately, Loki's mouth contains a great many sharp pointy objects. So we're working on not nipping to communicate, and also working on not chewing on us. I also particularly enjoy wearing long flowy jackets, which apparently is an invitation for clothing tug-of-war, which we are also trying to train her not to do. Also also- puppy toilet training takes a hell of a lot longer than anyone ever tells you it does. It's those damn movie montages that make it look so easy.
The Best Stuff-
She whines when we leave, she cries until we come back, and then she wags her tail so hard her whole body wiggles and she covers us with kisses. She cuddles, she snuggles, she loves us. She's adorable, she's hilarious, (give her an ice cube and thirty seconds and you'll be laughing so hard you'll cry) she's loyal and she's beautiful. She is the best dog ever.
Once we get her toilet trained.
In other news-
Michael and Sarah have jobs!!! Hooray!
Michael is working at Future Shop (canadian version of Best Buy), and Sarah is working at Pet Smart, training to become a dog trainer, which is AWESOME. Especially since that means when Sarah has enough training and Loki is old enough, Loki can go to work with her and be a working dog, which is perfect for huskies, who need a lot of mental stimulation and new experiences. Also, free puppy training for Loki. WIN.
Cam is happy enough at his job, and is content to work and play video games and be the Production Manager for our upcoming first show.
THAT'S RIGHT, FIRST SHOW!!!!
What is it? You'll have to tune in next week to find out. And yes, I do promise to post one next week. I've been busy, y'all.
As for me? Well, my crafting and redecorating has calmed down some. I've only painted the hallway in the last few weeks, and I haven't picked up a sewing needle in ages. Today is my first day-offy day off in quite a while (the other ones were very busy with auditions or catching up on sleep and chores). So today I'm going to try my hand at canning. We have a wonderful pear tree in our yard, and it has just MASSES of pears, so I will make tasty things.
UPDATE-
About two minutes after I finished typing all of this, work called. It seems that the universe does not want me to make pear butter, as every time I sit down to actually do it, I get called in to work, or some other calamity occurs. So now I'm back home watching Friends and making Chocolate Cake. Why? Because its just that kind of day.
Pictures when the internet stops sucking.
No comments:
Post a Comment